Times like these

REALITY CHECK.
Today I came home.
There was a long ass, sleepless flight involved that left my stomach in a million knots. And not because I was feeling sick.
It's weird. I'm usually always hella happy to be home, and can't wait for all hugs from all the people I've missed.  But I dunno, today was different. Today I kinda just walked around like a ghost. (wait a minute. don't ghosts float?) Or at least that's how I felt on the inside. Very much in the down and out. It's not like having to go to class helped in the slightest, but it's not why I was bummed all day either.

I'm sad to have left. And all day all I could think about were the things I had left, and how badly I wanted to come back to them. It's overwhelming really, in both a very uplifting, and extremely terrifying way. Sometimes it's hard to believe any of it is real. Basically I'm just scared that things won't go as I hope they will within the next year, that feelings will be forgotten, and that my plans will change without warning. Plans change all the time.

I can't go feeling like this forever (school won't let me). Nor can I control the random curve balls life intends to surprise me with. But I can trust in the plan, and help it get along.
"In times like these, what'll be will be." - Jack Johnson, Times Like These.